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Which Claremont College Local Produce Are You?

 

The Pomona Berry

Ironically the only berry not served at Frank. The Pomona Berry is notable for its deep blue skin and thick, milky juice whose appearance can only be described as “kind of jizzy.” The Pomona Berry grows best in environments with sufficient sources of smooth jazz and subsist largely on a diet of water, sunshine, and baby teeth. It is a good fruit.

The Pitzer Pickle

Best when grown locally. The Pitzer Pickle is tangy and acidic. It’s notable for its supple orange flesh which snaps crisply as devoured. If hooked up to a clock, the pickle energy will run the clock backwards while absorbing years from its owner’s life. In many cultures the Pitzer Pickle is consumed exclusively with both ring fingers to increases meal duration and to heighten pleasure 😉

The Claremont McKenna Squash

A close cousin to the Claremont Mckenna Squish. This golden squash, though inedible, is a wonderful addition to any home. CMC squash is ripest in honor of president’s day. To check for ripeness, spill the blood of your enemies and check it against the stem, if they are approximately the same shade, that’s a ripe CMC squash!

The Scripps Pomegranate

She’s a beauty. She’s a grace. She’s a Scripps Pomegranate and she’s in your face. The Scripps Pomegranates’ glowing green peel has been used for centuries by indigenous peoples to cure deficits of chutzpha afflicting locals. Often this sacred fruit can be found by the true of heart on sleepless nights during introspective moonlit strolls. Also, it ends up on sale at Vons a lot.


The Harvey Mudd Potato

The potato is an integral part of Harvey Mudd’s history. Without it, the AIs that built the school in the early 2000s could have never existed. By looks alone the HMC tater is identical to the much more conventional King Edward Potato with the exception of the small black spots the pepper its skin. The HMCtato is actually the only potato to be considered both a fruit and a particle. 

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