The 5C’s only source of news ever. All the news that's fit to drink.
I’m at my wit’s end. I am writing this from my phone with my puddy stationed on the toilet from the Dorsey single-stall bathroom. A combination of sweat and tears roll down my face, as I have come to the conclusion that I can never move from this cursed seat. I have been here for […] More
There comes a moment in every girl’s life when she recognizes that she has finally become a woman. For some, that might have been her first period. For others, it’s her first slow dance. But for me? Well, mine was extra special. I became a woman when I got fingered at Toga Party. And you […] More
Dear Golden Antlers readers, It is with heavy hearts that we announce that the Golden Antlers is facing a serious threat of a total and complete shutdown. Since barely escaping shutdown six years ago, we have been excommunicated from the safety of the consortium governments. We’ve been gasping for air, barely surviving on thin ice. […] More
Four student chefs call on their culinary skills as they face off against one another to prepare a spectacular meal consisting of 3 mystery ingredients selected by the judges. Contestants will then face the dreaded “Chopping Block,” where a panel of four dining hall connoisseurs “chop” 3 students who fail to measure up in terms […] More
Tinder got you down? Has rainy weather made you realize how lonely you are? Tired of thinking last Thursday’s TNC hookup was the one that got away? Say no more! The Golden Antlers has teamed up with the Harvard Computer Society (HCS) to bring a real and free match making service to the 5Cs this […] More
Bitcoin is what everyone’s talking about. Your Econ professor tells you it’s a hopeless endeavor. Your grandma asks you if you can download it for her. Jackson Bill, a CMC First Year, hasn’t mentioned he owns some in 10 minutes and now his twitch is back. There’s no denying that many investors have gained exponential […] More
An informant from within this underground subculture has come to The Golden Antlers to expose the troubling things they have seen and heard. They have asked to remain anonymous. “It’s shocking. I wouldn’t believe it if I hadn’t seen it with my own eyes. These students… they’re nothing like you and me….” Thanks to one […] More
This past month, Campus Security welcomed a new member to the force: Officer Red Dogg. With the 5C faculty’s lack of diversity drawing complaints, Dogg’s hiring marks an improvement upon Camp Sec’s currently 100% Homo sapien makeup. With a keen sense of scent perfect for tracking down kids smoking on the Pomona trails and the […] More
In seven days I – Clancy Tripp, Editor-in-Chief and Founder of The Golden Antlers – will leave Claremont and move to New York in hopes of becoming a real adult. Before I go, I have some words of advice to leave you with: Have Fun (But Don’t Die) Twenty years from now are you gonna […] More
Claremont McKenna College has an exciting announcement for the upcoming school year. When the CMC Class of 2019 (Crescit Cum Culis Civitas) walks onto campus in the fall— bright-eyed, pastel-adorned, and with winter internship applications in hand— they will be greeted by the best that liberal arts money can buy: crisp academic buildings, stellar motel/dorm […] More
CMC freshman Alice Williams checked her email this afternoon for a pleasant surprise: the Career Sevices Center has offered her $5 million in cash for her work this summer at the small non-profit “Billy’s Place.” Williams says that, although she was not expecting such a large sum, she will definitely put it to good use […] More
We know room draw gave you trust issues and crippling anxiety, but unfortunately it’s also time for your emotionally shattered self to choose next semester’s classes! What fun! You know your parents will pull you out of school, your significant other will dump you for being a failure at life, and you’ll never get the […] More
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