It’s official folks. Student Health Services has finally gone too far. This plucky reporter has unearthed a criminal scheme on par with Watergate. Spitgate, if you will. Those weekly “COVID” “tests” that we’ve been “doing?” Those aren’t tests. It’s an easy way for Student Health Services to exploit our wet, sloppy, juicy, nubile, wet mouths […] More
CLAREMONT, CA — Pitzer College issued a statement on April 20, 2021 at 4:27 am (they were busy until then) that the college will be granting honorary degrees to former White House staffers who were terminated due to the Biden administration’s policy on past marijuana use. The Golden Antlers has provided the full statement below. […] More
In her final days of her tenure as President of the United States of Scripps College (January 20, 1647–April 15, 2021), La*ra Tie*dens plans to grant executive clemency to 238 individuals charged or convicted of federal criminal offenses, using her clemency power under Article II, Section 2 of the Constitution. Ordinarily, all requests for executive […] More
In an uncharacteristically fiery speech delivered Friday on the floor of the iconic Pitzer Student Senate, Republican Minority Leader Mitch McConnell alleged that Merrick Garland, the Biden administration’s nominee to head the Campus Aesthetics Committee, would wreak havoc on the campus’ “traditional American values”. McConnell, who infamously refused to bring a vote to both Garland’s […] More
Due to Covid-19, hospitals in the Los Angeles area are adapting to fit the demand of their services. While many industries have been hit hard by the pandemic, hospitals across the world have proven that they can remain in business despite Covid-19. Hospitals in LA are doing exceptionally well with 100% of the beds in […] More
WASHINGTON, D.C. — On Wednesday, January 6, 2021, alt-right terrorists descended on the nation’s capitol building in a shocking coup nobody saw coming except people who read the news or the people who publicly organized it. While American coups are typically staged overseas or at least a thousand miles south of Washington D.C., Americans are […] More
Ranking criteria: Efficiency (1-10), Creativity (1-10), Morality (1-10); Ranked from worst to best Please play responsibly. The Golden Antlers is not responsible for any voter fraud you may commit. Regular fraud: In this economy!? Efficacy: depends on who you ask Creativity: (0/10) Morality: (3/10) Overall: (1/10) Asking more foreign powers to meddle in the election: […] More
Following increasing pressure from the Pitzer College student body, President Herman Melville Oliver Twist announced three weeks ago that his administration has made the formal decision to require all professors to move back in with their parents. Student activists have been mobilizing all semester to put increased pressure on their college’s administration for this enormous […] More
For a long time (eight years and one week!), we know you have relied on us for all your opinions about everything in your life, and politics is no different. Thus, we have taken it upon ourselves to compile a list of endorsements for those voting in the Claremont area and beyond. Remember, if you […] More
Ha! Made you look lol XD More
We’ve heard it time and again since the beginning of the COVID-19 pandemic: these are uncertain and unprecedented times. Now, months later, little has changed, and students across the country are struggling to adjust to the challenges posed by a completely virtual education system. But there’s one group of students who aren’t worried at all. […] More
By Guest Author Jenna Side, Class of 2021 I want to preface this article with the following: I am absolutely an anti-capitalist feminist. I study at a prestigious liberal arts college that teaches me how to question the world around me and offers exceptional opportunities: that’s how I got this job at McKinsey & Company. […] More
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