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Scripps College Should be a Safe Space: Remove All Womxn so I Feel Comfortable
Fellas, we’ve all been there. You’re walking through Scripps College, the women’s college’s campus alone when suddenly, an all-consuming aura of queasiness possesses you. You feel a compelling urge to grab your keys and put them between your knuckles as if you’re Wolverine. You dial 911 on your phone and keep it open, just in […] More
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In Attempt to Teach the Admissions Office a Lesson, Registrar Says “Fuck It”
In retaliation for the Admissions Office not knowing how to create a class that isn’t 100 students above the average enrollment, the Registrar said “Fuck it” in protest to making their lives a living hell. When asked for a statement, the Registrar threw crumpled Major Declaration forms at the Golden Antlers reporters while yelling at […] More
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Thanks, Scripps Core: I am Now Woke.
Now, I know what you’re thinking: you did three whole semesters of Core at Scripps College, so you can never be offensive! And I’d reply to that with “yes, you are exactly right.” Scripps College core has really taught me so much and I confidently can now call myself woke. Like first semester when we […] More
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Paternity Test Now Required to Purchase “Scripps Dad” Merchandise
CLAREMONT, CA – Campus officials have enacted a new policy restricting acquisition of “Scripps Dad” products to those with proof of biological paternity. The Scripps Dad logo—once an innocent emblem donned in various fabric forms by grieving fathers on move-in day—now serves as a souvenir that male members of the 5C community bring back […] More
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Motley to Introduce New Sustainability Plan For Spring Semester
Yesterday, the Motley unveiled their new plans to integrate several eco-friendly practices. This plan is to be implemented completely by February 2019, and has received praise from several notable leaders in the environmental justice community including the Environmental Defense Fund, the Citizens Climate Lobby, and that group of Pitzer juniors smoking by the clock tower. […] More
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Scripps College Solves Housing Crisis with Storage Pod Dorms
Scripps College Residential Life has managed to creatively solve its persistent housing crisis once and for all in a logical and simple way: by providing Storage Pods for students to live in! Students have been raving about their single-dorm buildings. “My bed almost fits inside, which isn’t that bad of a deal,” Amy Braggard ‘21 […] More
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in GA, Natalie Katz, Scripps
Motley Holding Out for Better Relations with Cuba
This just in—students have begun protesting the Motley for never having a sufficient amount of drink ingredients to supply the demand of the Claremont Colleges. Students from all around the five campuses have come together to form a picket line that is nearly as long as the line for the Motley itself. Notably, this is […] More
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in 5C, Author, Ben Turner, CMC, Harvey Mudd, Pitzer, Pomona, School, Scripps
Claremontian Gangsters: Finals Week Exacerbates 5C Drug Problem
As Finals Week 2013 kicks off for students of the Claremont Consortium, Golden Antlers analysts have detected an increasingly negative trend on the rise. With the increase in paper writing and exam studying, Ritalin and Adderall have resurfaced on campus. Yet the problem lies mainly in each school’s response. Most CMCers have resorted to cocaine, […] More
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in 5C, Ari Saperstein, Author, Ben Turner, Charlie Montgomery, Clancy T, Dante Toppo, Ender Wiggin, Haley Patoski, Lucas Van Houten, Sam Pitcavage, School, Scripps, Theresa Iker
Breaking News: Scripps College Application 2013 – 2014 Leaked to The Golden Antlers
Not to be left behind, the Scripps College Admissions Office has leaked their application for the class of 2018 to us! – – Theresa Iker SCR ’14, Ben Turner CMC ’16, Dante Toppo CMC ’15, Sam Pitcavage CMC ’15, Ari Saperstein PZ ’15, Ender Wiggin CMC ’15, Clancy Tripp CMC ’15, Ellie McElvain SCR ’14, […] More
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in 5C, Author, Clancy T, CMC, Dante Toppo, Ender Wiggin, GA, Harvey Mudd, Pitzer, Pomona, Sam Pitcavage, School, Scripps
Effective Immediately, The Golden Antlers Has Been Shut Down: A Farewell Letter
Dear Golden Readers, It is with genuine (and in no way sarcastic) sadness that I must announce that The Golden Antlers will no longer publish articles as of 8:00 AM tomorrow morning. Saturday morning we received word via phone call from the CMC Office of Development and Dean of Students that they would like this publication […] More
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in Author, CMC, Dante Toppo, Ender Wiggin, GA, Kiana Mendoza, Lucas Van Houten, Sam Pitcavage, School, Scripps
Scripps College Receives Gift Equivalent to George R. Roberts’ Housekeeper’s Annual Bonus
Following an apparent dearth of relevant and/or interesting news, the CMC Forum published an article (by Shannon Miller, no less!) announcing a $5.5 Million Gift to Scripps College. And then CMC was all like, “Meh.” – Kiana Mendoza CMC ’15, Dante Toppo CMC ’15, Lucas Van Houten CMC ’14, Ender Wiggin CMC ’15, Sam Pitcavage […] More
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