Thank God: Here’s Everything Pomona Spent Money on Instead of Air Conditioning

Awww, poor wittle baby wants aiw conditioning. Listen up, idiot, The Almighty and All-Knowing Pomona College is a serious institution with serious priorities, and student health and safety is bottom of the list. We’re sorry you’re too soft for our concrete dorm ovens, but it’s not like we have an exuberant amount of wealth that nobody can track down. We’re on a tight budget! Unlike AC, here are the items Pomona College needs to function.

Gabi Starr Mecha-Robo Death Suit

One of those machines where you stand in a booth and money blows around inside and you try to grab it

An Even Newer, Even Bigger Gym

Cecil’s Lasik surgery

The TSL

Installing Asbestos

They’re Not Sure Either

A 52-Acre Ranch (This One Isn’t a Joke)

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