- Did you see how it was dressed? I can’t believe you went outside with that thing!
- It never mattered. We are all stardust. I don’t believe in free will or whatever. If anything, YOU made me do it, so don’t try to put this on me, pal!
- This is an opportunity.
- I fucking hate you.
- Everyone has to go through this once in a while. It just had to happen to you.
- Kant would argue that most goods are immaterial, so your bike probably should be (to you) too.
- PEOPLE. NEED. TO. USE. PUBLIC. TRANSIT. Get off your fucking ass and use the bus.
- Bike riding is elitist. I’m moving up in the world!
- I needed your tires mine were really dirty.
- Buy a car.
- I’m getting into lock picking.
- It looked at me with fucky wucky eyes
- The Pope!
- Got really high and thought you were a fed.
- I shrunk it really tiny and it’s on my shelf.
- Drinking and driving is easier when it’s a low-impact collision. F=ma & your twink bike is gonna save lives.
- Arctic monkeys [cryptic]
Why I Stole Your Bike
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