Rich people at Claremont are so annoying. Like, um, hello? Have some tact. Not everyone can be a Connecticut boarding school kid. Some of us are New York private school kids.
I’m not ashamed to talk about money, either. Like, sure, my family is comfortable, you know? We’re definitely secure – I would say we’re somewhere between affluent and well-off – but we’re not “rich,” unless being a millionaire is what counts as “rich” these days. I know Pitzer kids who are billionaires. That’s real wealth.
I just can’t relate to any of these rich New York assholes. I mean, I’m from New York – but Brooklyn! Brooklyn before it got expensive, like 70 years ago. That’s when my family first bought our estate, and also all the surrounding apartment complexes.
When they were cheap.
It’s crazy how out of touch wealthy people are. Come on, not everyone can afford to have a housekeeper do your laundry every day. I mean, I have a housekeeper, but she’s basically family at this point. And besides, she only comes every other day. We try not to give her too many days off because she really needs the work.
Some of these people don’t know what it’s like when their parents can’t put food on the table. I know that feeling: growing up, my parents were always traveling, so my private chef had to put the food on the table instead. And her sushi pales in comparison to the quality of fish you get at Nobu.
And don’t even get me started on those Pitzer kids, like, their school gives out almost no financial aid so you know they all have money. Do you know what Pitzer costs? A whopping $76,808 a year. CMC is only $76,475. So, yeah, those Pitzer guys are rolling in it. What? Oh, no, I’m not on financial aid, I’m just speaking on behalf of those who are.
Okay, another example! I met someone here who has, like, seven houses? Some of us only have two! And the second isn’t even really my house, it’s my great-grandparents’ house, and I won’t inherit it at least until after my cousin, Prince William. We have a couple of apartments, too, but that’s different.
Not to mention all these kids who have never worked a day in their lives! My family earned their money. They worked hard, they saved up, and they found convenient tax loopholes in their offshore bank accounts. I need to be ready to work hard when I inherit the family bank accounts; do you know how hard it is to dodge the IRS?
Sure, I may be the heir to the Pepsi family fortune, but at least I’m not the heir to the Coke family fortune. That kid goes to Scripps and I hate her.