On Tuesday, Claremont students across the globe received a series of text messages warning that CGU’s campus was on lockdown. Following an endless stream of useless information that warned students to stay away from a campus that nobody sets foot on anyway, CGU released an email elucidating the cause of the lockdown:

Unfortunately for CGU, but fortunately for Gabi Starr, students at the Claremont Colleges have a short institutional memory; it seems likely that this won’t be the last time CGU pulls a stunt for attention.
Future stunts may include but are not limited to: self-immolation, expanding Hagelbarger’s into a global conglomerate, and finally revealing what the letters “CGU” stand for: Claremont Graduate University (of Phoenix, Online).

