Are you fucking kidding me??? I just walked into Estella and guess who I saw – a tote bag in one hand, a paperback book in the other. Wired earbuds “betwixt” bejeweled ears (how It would describe it). I could smell the curiosity (weed) of someone who just discovered the socratic seminar – yes, this was someone who took their freshman seminar and thought “I want to take three more years of this.” Is there a fucking HUMANITIES STUDENT IN ESTELLA?
I think they’re lost. They must have wandered off from Crookshank or Pearsons or something. I’m sure they are probably microchipped–not that I would know. I’m sure they must be scared – imagine wandering a step too far away from the dark academia coded humanities building and accidentally coming to Estella. They must feel like a dog getting put into the pound. Bless their heart.
I’ve heard rumors about humanities classes in Estella, but it can’t be true – that’d be inhumane! Why would they do that to their humanities students? They get so stressed out! The fluorescent lights would burn through their eyes, and the normal chairs would require them to double – no, triple! – their Adderall prescription. There’s just no way they could force a humanities student to be in there.
God, I hope they make it out okay. I want to talk to them, to help them out, but I just can’t. The hope and light in their eyes make me irrationally angry, and I’m terrified they are going to glomp me. I hope they don’t go into The Basement. All the STEM students know not to go in there, but those curious humanities students haven’t been warned!
Oh! They were just here to eat the chalk. There they are, in Estella 2113 – one bite after another, just pure chalk – handfuls and handfuls of chalk, just shoving it into their greedy, overly curious-and-delicate freethinking mouth. Haha! Classic humanities student, always eating chalk!
PSA: If you see a Humanities student in Estella, they are there to eat the chalk.
Thank you for your time.