My name is Winnifer McSweeny, and I think I have discovered something truly horrifying.
My roommate might be…middle class! “Egads!” I hear you yell at your screen. I knew it from the moment she moved in. There were only 2 suitcases of clothes, so I asked her, “If you only have 2 bags, where will you fit all of your matching Lululemon sets?” I thought she would laugh and say it was being shipped to her next week, but she didn’t. She told me something truly terrifying: “Oh, the suitcases? This is all my stuff. Also, what’s a Lululemon set?” After picking my jaw up off the floor, I feigned ignorance and walked away. This interaction has me second guessing what I can say to her. Could I tell her about my 4th home? The 6th? More questions arose. Does everyone NOT go on a yearly ski trip to Aspen? Do credit cards decline? I, Winnifer, was determined to find out.
I observed her. Her weird mannerisms…cooking, cleaning, and even washing clothes??? Can’t you just buy more? And most importantly, what is a Hamburger Helper? And what is it helping her with? All of these unanswered questions led me to realize that my roommate is middle class, also known as Secret Poor. After a couple google searches and a ChatGPT explanation, middle class seems to be this thing where you can afford food, but not a liberal arts college. A puzzling facet of our economic crisis. lf I am alive next week to tell my story, I will write to discuss my findings.