Well, it’s that time of year again, folks. Datamatch is here. Putting yourself out there can be hard, but don’t worry–we’ve got your back. First things first, this advice is only for people who either did not participate last year (and therefore have not found the love of their life via Datamatch) or participated last year, found the love of their life, and have consensually decided to become a thruple via the magic of our love making quiz.
If you are either of the above cases, but certainly NOT someone who a) took Datamatch last year and b) is not looking to jointly dip their collective couple toe into the glorious, deep pond of polyamory with the guidance of cold, hard, and uncomfortably erect data, read on to discover some amazing tips to ensure a successful Datamatch bio.
1.“I love The Office”
Wow, I’m honestly surprised you’re even taking Data Match because you are such a catch. How can you be single? It’s so hard to find someone that appreciates such an underrated and niche show like The Office. I bet you’re amazing in bed.
2. “I’m a dog person”
“Wow! A dog person? In my 21 long and weary years in this dog-hater-infested world, I have yet to find another person who shares my affinity for man’s best friend. What is your dog’s name? Wait- I don’t care! Just get over here and let me jump your bones!” – A Very Hot Person You Will Inevitably Match With
3. “420 friendly“
You are a beacon of safety in the dark, unforgiving abyss of Californian anti-weed discrimination.
4. *Picture of you with a fish you “caught”*
Impeccable. Clean up on aisle 2! Amiright, ladies?
5. “Coffee enthusiast”
10/10! The perfect way to tell your match that you will take them on a date to Auggie’s but order a hot chocolate. And like not even one of the fun hot chocolates. And you want them to pay.