On Saturday, February 29, 2020, Claremont Mckenna College is hosting its annual wedding party. However, unlike in past years, this year, they have decided to go through with a new, experimental type of ceremony. The Dean of Students Office has agreed to accept a CMC senior, Sam Jones’, offer to marry whichever international student is chosen by the raffle.
After some investigative journalism, The Golden Antlers have discovered that Sam Jones is an International Relations major at CMC and a Performance Art minor at Pomona College. We believe he is doing a capstone project for his minor while seeking international networking opportunities.
So far 75% of international students from CMC have entered the raffle. Each student seems more excited than the next. We have heard statements such as, “I really hope I get picked,” “I heard he is really cute,” and “I don’t want to have to go back to China right now.”
A reported 114 parents are flying into Claremont so they can be here for the special day just in case their child gets picked. All 45 rooms at the Double Tree on Foothill are filled with disgruntled, international parents who had an average flight time of 15 hours, not including 2 layovers and an $80 uber from LAX.
CMC has reported a spike in parental donations in foreign currency such as the euro, yen, and yuan. Wendy Smith, donated 50,000 euros to make sure her daughter was not picked. “She is eighteen,” reported Smith. “I want her to move back in with me,” said one mother disappointedly. Others echoed similar concerns, including: “I don’t know who this ‘Sam’ boy thinks he is,'” and “My son already has a girlfriend and I really like her.”
We at the Golden Antlers wish everyone good luck on Saturday. No matter who gets picked, we just hope the lucky winner’s parents are able to get a wristband before the party reaches capacity and campus security stops allowing people in.