Dear the Golden Antlers,
YOU NEED TO DO BETTER
You are clearly out of good ideas given the state of your articles recently. Maybe all of the funny writers quit (they were never funny) because of terrible leadership? I miss when GA was under the leadership of big beautiful antlers and not big gassy bellies! We can all see that GA is harming [insert group] with their [scary descriptors] [ambiguous allegations] [scary descriptors] [fabricated allegations].
Anybody who says, “oh GA is not that bad” or “Oh I thought that one article was funny” WAKE UP! YOU HAVE BEEN BRAINWASHED BY THE FAKE NEWS MEDIA! They have been pushing upon us their misogynistic slop and we are just eating it up. Well I have had enough!
The GA staff need higher standards. They must be held accountable for their inane and often outright offensive actions. It is time for them to critically reflect upon their place in upholding injustice and perverting journalism for selfish gains. It is our duty, as the good people of [insert college here] to stand for justice against this tyrannical establishment.
Just yesterday one of the GA writers said to me, “I hate women.” Women hold up 33% of the sky! Another writer said, “I think that occasionally violence is justified when used against forces of an unjust state.” DESPICABLE!
I just have one question for the Golden Antlers. Are your arms getting tired from punching down so much? Huh, f**?
Remember, there are real world consequences for your actions! I say that we all group together to put a stop to this organization BY ANY MEANS NECESSARY. If Golden Antlers disarms, well and good. If it refuses to disarm, we shall disarm it ourselves. I have witnessed the tremendous energy of the masses. On this foundation it is possible to accomplish any task whatsoever. Down with the GA!
Sincerely,
Disappointed