A scene all too common nowadays: you’re at a function, and the more morally-plastic attendees are attempting to recreate Reefer Madness (1936) (yes including the manslaughter bit) with their wretched little tube of Satan’s foliage. Or maybe you’re trying to honk-shoo-mimimimimi off to dreamland in your dorm, yet some bastard is wafting that skunky ignominy around the courtyard! Where are those good old-fashioned values on which we used to rely?
People in this country used to smoke cigarettes, and they liked it too! Kids these days don’t know the value of commitment. Even among occasional social smokers, about half develop a long-term habit! Weed smokers, especially the kids, cannot imagine that type of long-haul. Only 1 in 6 teenage blunt artists gets addicted. How fickle of them!
Cigarette smoke also smells like gasoline and burning rubber and cool stuff like that. That really gets me goin’! Weed smoke smells like old piss and expired cabbage, neither of which are cool. The only good thing about marijuana is that it still puts more tar in your lungs, so I’ll give it points for efficacy. Everything else says you should smoke cigarettes at parties!
Think about all the cool people who are puffin’ ciggies too: former President Franklin Delano Roosevelt, Dale “Racecar” Earnhardt Jr., Lana del Rey, Obama’s daughter(s) according to the tabloids, etc. These people are sexy, alive, well, unburdened by cancer, in their lane, flourishing even. Meanwhile, the biggest weed smoker I can think of is Joe Rogan. Joe Rogan is a fucking loser. (Snoop Dogg also has numerous credible allegations of sexual misconduct, so don’t even think about bringing him up.)
Despite all of this, many students have the gall to claim that they’re “okay with people smoking weed around them, just not cigarettes.” If you’re saying that, just know that you’re a loser too.