What a beautiful day! It’s 11:30 AM on a Saturday, and 5 hours of vodka-induced sleep therapy has you looking glowing, queen! The late morning sun is hitting your pale, pale skin. You don’t look like you were out until 2 AM last night at all! Your top knot doesn’t look messy at all, and if it does, who cares? Dreads look beautiful on anyone. It’s the Pitzer way! You looked beautiful being carried back to your room last night, goddess.
Delightful! You made brunch plans at midnight, and everyone involved is both late but also is mad at each other for being late! Tinafaë is such a hypocrite about brunch time but, like, it’s okay because she paid for the Zipcar. Put on your nicest sweatpants, it’s Scrunch o’ clock! Maybe This Time There Will Be Lox. Oh, and maybe some Matcha Matcha donuts!!
Oh wow! 60 high schoolers wearing matching t-shirts and gay lanyards are sitting in the middle of campus! And instead of staring at the gay passing straight tour guide (he’s double poly with two girls right now), they’re all staring at you! Creature feature! Don’t worry, these teens are just staring because you are so stun haha! And you aren’t walking too loud or slow or fast, your gait is trendy and posture is out for SS 25. You are so stun!
Woah! A whole tour guide! Now there’s both teenagers and their parents! Their skin is angry white and the moms all have matching haircuts! And they stopped right next to you! That’s sooooo cool! They are NOT staring at you out of disgust—, they just both think that you’re soooo hot that they’re mad at themselves for having a quick mental infidelity break.
Yes. YES! The line is almost stretching out of Malott! Hooray! Maybe you’ll be able to eat in 45 minutes, as long as you don’t leave the line to throw up. And nobody can tell that you smell a bit like something you shouldn’t. Congrats, queen!
☆*: .｡. o(≧▽≦)o .｡.:*☆