Co-writer: Jeremy Martin
You’re one of my closest friends – you know that? I can’t believe how fast our relationship progressed. Oh relationship, did I just use that word? Haha. Whoopsies. I remember the day we met – I just had this feeling that we just reallyyyyy needed to be friends.
I need you. In my life.
People are always coming up to me to ask if we’re dating or at the very least hooking up! Isn’t that hilarious? Soooooo crazy. By the way, do you think I’m hot? Just wondering.
Friends can be honest.
I’d love to meet your mom. She’d probably really love me. You should totally come visit me over Winter Break!
So, like, how’s Tinder going for you? I noticed you didn’t match with me… did you know friends can match on Tinder and it’s chill? People swipe right on their friends all the time. It’s like a thing.
Hey, I bet our mutual friends just left the room because they think we’re gonna hook up. Haha. Crazyyyyyyyy.
I’m soooo big on platonic affection. Platonic cuddling is the best! Maybe we could even kiss platonically, as a bit. Wouldn’t that be such a slay? Ugh, yes girl! Slayyy… do you feel safe and unthreatened? Good.
I’m not gay, by the way.
Have you ever seen When Harry Met Sally? We should really watch When Harry Met Sally.
I could only ever hook up with someone I’m already friends with. Besides, my friends are all so beautiful, I have crushes on most of them. Just like throwing that out there. You’re really beautiful.
I love being friends with you.
…
There’s something I’ve been meaning to tell you.