As if you needed another excuse to fuel your rampant alcoholism, The Golden Antlers has got your back once again with the Claremont Compliments/Claremont Confession[s] Drinking Game!  Every college has got ‘em (though we suspect we have more threesome facilitations than the average institute of higher learning) but ours is the goddam’ best.  Grab a cold one (and some tequila, and some Everclear) and buckle your seatbelts cause this is gonna be one hell of a night.

Disclaimer: We accept no responsibility or liability for any unsightly fellows/ladies you may hook up with as a result of this game.  We do, however, look forward to reading about it on Claremont Hookups.

Claremont Compliments

Take a Sip Every Time…

–  a compliment is vaguely racist (“hot for an asian guy”, “chocolate skin”, etc.)

– someone’s significant other passive aggressively comments on a compliment (“You’re right, OP, he IS really hot. That’s why I’m dating him.”)

– the words “you single?” are used (I mean, my god, it’s like they’ve never heard of a fragment.  Thanks Tarzan.)

– OP gets trolled (There’s a reason CC has so many friends, and it’s called fascination with the abomination.)

Chug Your Drink Every Time…  

– Ben Turner gets a compliment (or for lightweights who don’t want to get too wasted, drink every time he doesn’t get a compliment)

– a post is so vague that four different people tag their friends and they all fight to the death. (“There can only be one ‘girl wearing a backpack outside the Coop!’”)

Take A Shot Every Time…

– someone you have a thing for gets a compliment and it sends you on a rage spiral of trying to figure out who your competition is (YEAH BITCH, WE KNOW HIS ANKLES ARE DREAMY, KEEP YOUR GRIMY INTERNET PAWS OFF).

– CC posts a compli-sult (OP: “@JaneDoe: You have a great personality! Plus you’re the only human being I’ve met who I could have a chance with also I have a vivid imagination during sex as long as you don’t speak and I’m allowed to keep my eyes closed.”)

– someone uses the phrase, ‘hot for a Mudder.’” (Really? That’s the best you came up with?  That’s like saying, “someday he’ll be rich; plus he’s not hideous!”)

Finish Your Drink Every Time…

– someone calls a Mudder hot… and they’re actually hot. (Just kidding, Mudders, we love you! Call us! We’re lit majors, so you know we get creative and use great metaphors in dirty talk.)

– It’s about you. (Unless you are Ben Turner)

*Bonus: Chug Everclear every time someone you hate gets a compliment!

Unless the person you hate is Ben Turner.  In which case:

Claremont Confession [s]  

(Take a sip right off the bat if you’re wondering why it’s in the singular — We sure as hell are.)

Take a sip every time…

– some privileged white dude-bro complains about things being “too PC” (“ok, ok, can I just say something though? I feel like a *certain minority group* is getting a leeeeetle bit too touchy about being called chicken-and-waffle eaters.  I mean, I like chicken-and-waffles too!  Why is it racist if I refer to a whole race of people as chicken-and-waffle eaters?? #TMYK”)

– someone you thought was a decent human being likes the above confession

– that threesome confession from like two months ago gets another anonymous comment. (Like, is that really gonna pan out?  Pun intended).

Chug your drink every time….

– OP’s grammar is corrected by three different English majors in the comments

– a Linguistics major posts 300 comments in response to the English majors

– Said English and Linguistics majors get in an argument about prescriptive versus descriptive grammar usage

– some asshole friend tags you in the comment of a confession that, if seen by any potential employer, would destroy all hope of employment (OP: “Sometimes I really just like to seek out this endangered species of wombat and then force it to perform fellatio on me while I revise my internship application to be Michele Bachmann’s personal assistant”  Your Friend: “lolololololol CLASSIC @yourname”)

– Someone links to a feminist blog in the comments (extra sips if it’s a tumblr, if the title has the word ‘patriarchy’ in it, or if it’s Liat’s)

Take a shot every time…

– OP wants to know where all the sexy Sneetches with green stars on their bellies are at

– someone asks where the non-drinkers are?? (not playing this fun-ass game, that’s for damn sure)

– Kenny Moran, Ashley Where-Is-Waldo, or Daniel Lipson loses an argument.

– The moderator puts an ‘?’ after a Trigger Warning (“TW: racist against yaks?” or “TW: corn?”)

– OP tries to not-so-stealthily figure out someone’s sexuality (“John Doe is the Adam to my Eve, I wish I knew whether he preferred serpents or garden bushes…”)

– Someone fetishizes a professor (chase with beer if it’s that one hipster lit professor with the dog)

Finish your drink every time…

– OP just wants to cuddle, watch Disney movies, and then engage in some Sexy Times 169: Advanced Methods (Cirque du Soleil)

– some fresh genius comes up with the idea that there should be a Claremont dating page and begs the world to create one (wow, if only someone had thought  of that a full year ago! I’d call it Hooking Up Claremont…)

–Someone who is pretty clearly the OP comments on their own post defending themself (OP: “I h8 Claremont”  CommentDefender:“No no, I think OP is trying to say that he/she/they hates Claremont because of a certain fat bitch who sits behind him/her/them in Psych 30 who acted like she was down and then come Saturday night she’s like ‘wah my pet dog was run over by a Weiner-mobile’ and she wont sleep with him/her/them.  Or, I mean, that’s just what I get upon first reading…)

Drink enough to die alone…

– Every time you submit a compliment to yourself. (It’s ok, we’ve all done it.  OH WAIT NO WE HAVEN’T because we have self-esteem! We wake up every morning and butter our toast with self-confidence and go to work with a pocket full of sunshine.  You should be ashamed of yourself, submitting to FormSpring…as if we don’t all know how to hack FormSpring.)

{NO PERSONS, NO MATTER HOW NICE THEIR BOOBIES ARE, UNDER 21 ALLOWED “DISCLAIMER” SO WE DON’T GET OUR BOOTYLICIOUS ASSES SUED}

– Liat Kaplan CMC ’17, Clancy Tripp CMC ’15, Julia Comnes SCR ’16, Christie Kweon SCR ’15, Theresa Iker SCR ’14, Sam Pitcavage CMC ’15, Dante Toppo CMC ’15

Muse & Object of Sexual Lust: Ben Turner CMC ’16