Sad! Captain Davey Jones was disappointed to discover he was the only actual pirate at Pirate Palooza.
“Yaaaarrggh!” Exclaimed a saddened Captain Jones. “I expected other scallywags and rapscallions at a parrrrty for pirates. Instead there only be wenches in bikinis and landlubbers without shirts. My locker wasn’t even there!”
Jones, who is best known for plumaging cities and sailing the seven seas, found out about the party on Fizz and was excited to attend. But at this party, X marked the alcohol, not the buried treasure, and it wasn’t even rum!
“This be cultural appropriation!” Declared Jones. “When you’re Shipwrecked tis a tragedy! Not a DJ!”
The Captain is calling for a boycott of CMC parties by all seafarers until the college apologizes to the pirate community.