Shahriari has been a franchise professor for Pomona’s math department, with 4 Wig Distinguished Professorships and a Math Olympiad Finals MVP. However, concerns about his availability following a sabbatical last year have caused Pomona to ship the young vet to their conference “rival” Pitzer College.
In return, they receive McConnell’s soft-serve machine, which has two solid flavors (chocolate and Yellow) but a troubling injury history. Pomona hopes to bring students back to its dining halls following a disappointing string of Frary lunches. “Ice cream wins championships. This is a win-now move for us,” said Pomona’s portly Interim President.
Shahriari heads to an uncertain future at Pitzer, who now lack a true cold dessert option, as well as any math majors whatsoever. To address cap space concerns with Pitzer’s endowment, CMC has agreed to take on three Pitzer students with financial aid and an interest in government.