Woah, chill – why are you so mad about your roommate bringing their friends over? You’re doing homework? Why? Maybe if you were actually smart, then you’d realize that “doing homework” is for dumb people. Yeah, your roommate hasn’t touched a single assignment in two months now – it’s called looking at the easiest classes on RateMyProfessor, also known as “Economics.” What’s Premed?
And what homework even is that? Math? Don’t you know that it doesn’t actually matter what you get a degree in, because you can just get hired by your parent’s friends anyways.
Plus, it’s actually way smarter to take a fifth year, since you get to hit on freshmen for another year and your parents can just pay for it. You’re trying to “graduate early” – are you stupid?
Besides, if there is one thing you should know about college, it’s that you should be aiming for the bare minimum. If your class has homework, drop it. If they take attendance, drop it. And if your class is at “Harvey Mudd”, then what the fuck are you talking about? Why haven’t you dropped it yet?
The real class you should be doing in college is called Buddying Up With The People In The Grade Above You and Asking For Their Old Work. Yeah, that’s it.
And get this – your roommate is actually too smart to do their group projects, too. It’s true – they would probably just overwhelm the rest of their group with their intellect. You wouldn’t get it.
And if their partners start bitching about how “they need to pull their weight” and “you haven’t shown up to the last three meetings we’ve scheduled and it’s due on Friday”, they can just talk to someone dumber, like ChatGPT or Google.
Besides, college is about making connections – especially the connections with all of their friends that are somehow also in all of your roommate’s classes, or the connections with the freshmen in their Intro to Psych class that they are taking for the third time.
It’s way more important than the whole “learning” thing – and if you don’t get that, then you can just talk to someone dumber than your roommate, like ChatGPT or Google. Don’t waste their precious time.