Yesterday, he was nothing more than a simple class crush. Today, he’s my everything, the man of my dreams, the fire between my loins – and it’s all thanks to his sexy new electric scooter. He’s just… so… efficient with his choice of transportation.
Fuckkkkkkkkkkkk 😩
When I see him riding his electric scooter, I think “Lord, he looks so fine on that electric scooter.” This is because riding an electric scooter is a very sexy thing to do, and it doesn’t make you look weird or dweeby at all, it makes you look really hot and sexy, and this is something that everyone can agree with.
The ultimate green flag for me is if a man knows his way around a 5TH WHEEL M1 Electric Scooter – 13.7 Miles Range & 15.5 MPH, 500W Peak Motor, 8″ Inner-Support Tires,Triple Braking System, Foldable Electric Scooter for Adults and Teens, iF Design Award Winner. Who could resist?
I just think it’s the cutest thing when he has to walk up a flight of stairs to get to class so he has to collapse the scooter and then carry it up the stairs which is clearly quite strenuous and while he’s huffing and puffing he exclaims to nobody, “Golly, this thing has some weight to it! There’s my workout for the day!” I need him.
If I’m going to have a crush on someone, I need them to value and treasure me – just like how my beloved values and treasures his scooter, which he always locks up with a Master Lock U-Lock Bike Lock with Key, U-Lock for Bicycles, Lock for Outdoor Equipment, Black. Of course, he always makes sure to take it inside whenever possible.
The most difficult part about trying to lay my electric scooter boo-thang is standing out among the pack of desperate admirers that chase him from class to class. Try as we might, none of us can run at 15.5 MPH, and we are inevitably forced to watch him zip off into the sunset on his scooter, hearts broken, genitals throbbing.
Goodbye sweet prince.