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CMC: The Best God-Damn Campus in America

 

Claremont McKenna students’ Facebook profiles emerged from their post-Forbes depression this week. after Business Insider magazine ranked CMC The Best God-Damn College Campus In America .  As anyone who has spent any time in the Bauer Center can tell you, this reaffirmation of our unquestionable superiority was not much of a surprise.

"The campus is binge-drinking-chic, so hip these days." - Business Insider
“The campus is binge-drinking-chic, so hip these days.” – Business Insider

The judges cited many different aspects of CMC’s campus in their decision, starting with the iconic North Quad dormitories.  According to Business Insider writer Peter Jacobs, “Strolling through North Quad on our early Sunday morning I was struck by the daring combination of Motel 6 meets Animal House, complemented by the slight (but nonetheless tantalizing) odor of urine and stale Keystone.”  Jacobs raved, “The lack of air conditioning and gender equality only served to further the delightful illusion of being stranded at a truck stop in Bakersfield. I could hardly even recognize where the barf ended and the walls began! Splendid!”

The judges’ tour continued to the above-mentioned Bauer Center, where they praised the ingenuity of pizza slice shaped classrooms, which make it nearly impossible for one third of the class to read the futuristic new chalkboards. The Reading Room was described by Jacobs as, “How [he] would imagine a thrift shop would look, if it were run by [his] blind, demented grandmother.”

"I love the smell of aluminum fencing and red cups in the morning"
“I love the smell of aluminum fencing and red cups in the morning”

After a quick meet and greet with the BIC (Babe-In-Chief) in his photo studio/office, the swooning judges were taken to the old tennis courts and “delightfully claustrophobia-inducing” portables. Tour guide John Forhanjob CMC ’15 explained how the plethora of weeds, old women’s health products, and used needles on the tennis courts, were part of a prep course for the school’s brand new “Study Abroad Detroit” Program. At this point the judges were so impressed that they described the rest of the tour as “the world’s greatest formality.”

"Poetry, pure poetry" - Business Insider
“Poetry, pure poetry” – Business Insider

Other notable tour highlights included, but were not limited to, Beckett and Berger Halls, the flood outside Green each night, Seaman Hall, Ducey Weight Room, Ducey Fitness Room, Ducey Pool, Ducey Hallway, Ducey Athletic offices and Ducey small gym. While Business Insider described the Kravis Center and Kube as, “mehh” they thoroughly enjoyed hearing about the torrential waterfall in the Writing Center that was removed for financial reasons in 2012.

Disclaimer: Business Insider Magazine has insisted that any donations made by KKR in the last 12 months have had no impact on the 2013 rankings.

Disclaimer 2: I absolutely adore our campus. Just more in the mom-still-loved-me-in-the-braces-acne-and-bleached tips-days sort of way.

– Ender Wiggin CMC ’15

** All photos by Sean Mcqueen CMC ’13

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