Gabi Starr was gallivanting across Pomona campus today when she saw a cluster of flowers growing in the lobby of Alexander Hall. She immediately became enraged: “These flowers are disruptive and disrespectful. They are pushing a violent agenda. Boys, get ‘em.”
Starr proceeded to call a squadron of riot cops on the flowers. The troops had riot shields and guns, despite the fact that the stude—, sorry, “flowers,” had neither guns nor shields to protect themselves.
20 flowers so far have been arrested and taken into police custody, despite the fact that they were not breaking the law and were exercising their rights to free flower speech on campus.
Thank God for Pomona College, another win for civil rights.