Alright guys, somebody has to say it! I don’t like parties at the 5cs. It’s just that I’m upset that I don’t go to a school with a real alcoholic culture, like ASU, USC or somewhere else where the normal people go. Seriously you all make it very hard to pretend I’m the main character in a movie about college instead of just experiencing college.
Growing up as a wee little child I used to watch classic comedies about college, Animal House, Pitch Perfect, and Monsters University. Now, I’m in college and I regret to inform you I have not even once been invited to a party as lit as Oozma Kaapa’s. Where is Mike Wazowski and Sully? Where is the fun alcoholism? The 2010’s party music spotify playlist DJ that only knows “Hips Don’t Lie” by Shakira? What about the guy at the door not letting me in cause I’m not cool enough?
When I chose to go to CMC, it wasn’t for the small class environment, it wasn’t for the school’s academic ranking, it wasn’t because my parents could afford to pay $90,000 a year, NO! It was because I thought the Claremont consortium was renowned for its parties. Everyone knows if you want to party in college, go to a liberal arts school with no frats.
I was hoping the 5Cs would have GOOD parties like “our sports team won the big game!” party where all the people wear shirts that say “go school!” and all the athletes would show up and everyone would be like “Wow! You guys played sport so well in big game!” And the athletes would be like, “Yeah we did! Now let’s all get drunk and do cocaine, and kiss each other!”
Where are the cool parties like that? Instead we have a party with a vague theme like “pirates” and 30 guys moshing while everyone else stands in small circles talking and complaining about how loud the music is like a retirement home for 20-somethings.
Will I do anything to change this? NO. That is not my job. But it is my right as a (white) American to complain as I see fit.