Pomona students! Hi! Welcome to campus!
We know you’ve been waiting months and are ecstatic to be here and/or a little bummed out that Stanford rejected you.
Don’t worry, you’ll forget all about that when you have one too many Four Locos (one) and wake up in the Estella Basement.
We know it’s hard leaving your family for the first time. That’s why there’s a forced triple prepared specially for you! Now it’s like you have two parents all the time! You can be each other’s parents and children!
Are you excited yet? We are!
The number 48 is very important to us. Chirp chirp!
Our campus has like 48 majors, and the clock tower always rings on the 48th minute. That’s why we have ±48 triples for you guys to enjoy!
Here’s a tip: to bond with your roommates, try playing an awesome game called tickletoes. Yep! It’s exactly what it sounds like, and it’s even better with friends!
There are so many exciting things about Pomona, like the new and beautiful CGE: built in an elegant deconstructed style.
I know I’m excited to crouch upon the rubble like a delightful little gremlin and learn to decolonize my mind over a delightful British-Indian fusion meal from Frary.
We live in one of the best times to be alive, ever.
In our new woke Eden, you guys get the privilege of staying in a forced triple! Awesome!
We can’t wait to welcome in another record-breakingly large class of students next year! See you all in the Estella Basement! (BYOFL [four loco], business casual.)