It all started at Pomona College, the Mogwarts of Ohio, when Professor Anita💅Max🎀Wynn✨ tried calling on Quandale Dingle, heir to the Turkish throne, to answer a question about the intricacies of munting💀💦.
Unfortunately for the tenure track Professor of Skibidi👽 Fortnite👾, she was no match for the positive canthal tilt student. Unbeknownst to the Professor, the red-40maxxer👹❣️ 🤤 was jelqing 😯 under his Pomona-Pitzer💙🧡 hoodie while mewing😙so hard the entire room could hear his teeth grind to dust 😨😨😨. One hand on his giant glizzy🙂, other hand stroking his chin🤔, and a laptop screen open to Livvy Dunn’s instagram👸, the student mogged the beta Professor.
When the professor attempted to call📞 on the student again, Quandale Dingle put his finger to his mouth🤫 in a “shushing” manner and demonstrated the flawless, diamantine💎 nature of his jawline🧏. A robotic🤖 voice🗣️ could be heard as he did this, reciting “bye bye”👋👋 to emphasize the looksmaxxer’s irresistible🤤🤤🤤 low taper fade💇.
One witness said of the scene: “Erm, what the skibidi?🤓👆 I couldn’t even edge to this–I exploded💥 immediately💦!!! Clean up on aisle MY PANTS 😂😂😂 annnddd yep! It got all over the desk 😅✋ GYATTEBAYO 😁👊”
Clearly, the femcel professor🥸 was jealous of the mega zyn chewer’s pheremones👃– but that was no excuse to attempt to mog what was clearly a superior gooner😩😩🗿. She should have recognized that she had very little berry blumpkin rizz😏 and that she should leave Livvy Dunn to the alphas🐺🐺 (Quandale Dingle).
As the student was dragged out by the beta camp sec🚔, 🚨🚨alarms🚨🚨 sounded, alerting the building to his dangerously⚠️ high aura levels☣️☢️. In a show of dominance, the student hit a blinker💨 on a fent cart🔥🔥 and growled, reciting the scripture: “faded than a ho, faded than a ho”🕊️🕊️. Everyone turned and watched, applauding👏👏👏🎉🍾, as Quandale Dingle proudly starting blicking (the popularized dance🕺 to the song “I Just Wanna Rock”🗿) in handcuffs, and the heavens 😇smiled😇 down upon him, playing his outro song🎶🎤, “CARNIVAL” by Ye and Ty Dolla $ign.