Co-writer: Eleanor Henderson
9. Frary
- Let’s be honest, does anyone really like Frary? The lighting is terrible, the tables are unnecessarily massive, and the food is just okay.
- The mural i cool, but it’s a little scary.
8. Spooky Frary
- Halloween decorations? Now we’re talkin’.
7. Christmas/Harry Potter Frary
- Bet all of you Harry Potter nerds out there really love this one. Pomona really knows how to cater to their audience! I bet you’re a Ravenclaw, huh? Dork.
- JK Rowling is a TERF so this theme is actually very cringe. However, the dining hall staff truly go all out for this one. #biglove
6. Productive/Homework Frary
- Desperate times call for desperate measures!
- Did you come here with no friends? Now THAT’S embarrassing! Look at all those long ass tables full of friend groups.
- But what’s that? You have your laptop? Time to look cool as hell: you’re doing a reading and it definitely doesn’t look like you have no friends.
5. Frary when you’re sitting on the stage
- Oh, hello popularville!
- I bet all you fuckin plebeians down there wish you were me. Ohhhh yeahhh, look at me, a foot higher than the rest of you. Eat shit, losers.
4. Hoch-Shanahan
- Do you like mall food courts? Then this place is for you!
- Great ambience, good food.
- Slurpee machine!
3. Frary on Saturday nights when they have Caesar Salad
Mmmmmmmm mmmmmmmm yummmmmyyyyyyy mmm mmmmmm mmmmmm
2. Drary (Drunk Frary)
Picture this: it’s 6pm on a Friday. You are bonked, shlonked, flonked, and borderline imbiblical off the sauce. You are capital W drunk. What do you want to eat? That’s right, cheese pizza that tastes exactly like Chuck E. Cheese and also, like, four or five vegan poke bowls? I guess? Who fucking cares, man.
1. The Mac Shack
- Listen up, freshmen. This joke isn’t for you. You have no idea the glory you missed out on, the epic highs and lows of macaroni and cheese on a college Saturday night from 9pm-1am.
- You were the genuine backbone of Claremont nightlife. We miss you. Come back.
