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The Ethicist Responds: “I’m dating my distant cousin hella nervous tho because she’s coming to Claremont next year”

This happens more often than you think, anonymous.

Life gets in the way. We often find ourselves in bed with “pressing” situations like this, and I sympathize with how confused and scared you feel. But you are both consenting adults. Figure that “rizzness” out yourself—don’t listen to the haters.

Society is progressing. Every year, old moralities fade a bit more. What critics decried 30 years ago now has lovers tenderly crying out in each others arms. Why should you and your cousin be any different from the rest of us?

Sweet cousin lovin’ is on the horizon. As an ethicist, I won’t participate. You haven’t told me your name, where you live, or most importantly how hot your cousin is. But I do condone it.

Condemned love is like fish without water, or dunes without sand: scarily dry, and missing bulges.

Is love not a tree with deep roots? The only concern is how intertwined these roots already are with your cousin. So wrap it before growing a bad apple—or even a bunch. Otherwise, you might have to pay for a SUPER annoying abortion. Imagine some slimy newborn popping out with like… three eyes or something.

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