Finally! Students of the Claremont Colleges have completed the arduous process of figuring out where the fuck they’re gonna live on campus for the next school year, and now, for summer research too. To celebrate, we’ve collected our favorite reports of recent housing changes, upcoming plans by the colleges, and student reactions to their placements!
Pomona’s Postgrad Opportunities:
To those who were confused—no, that’s NOT a body in the Coop fountain! It’s just the Pomona Super Senior who can’t live anywhere else!
Pitzer Fixes Housing Shortage
Hoorah! Pitzer Housing back to normal, except for that one Mead double that’ll hold 130 students!
Scripps Substance-Full Apartments
One (1) Scripps Junior to reside in The Substance Bathroom.
Harvey Mudd Incident #45532
Rumors are circling that Mudd Sophomores with Room Draw numbers 50-177 recreate Jonestown. Also circling: vultures.
CMC Post-Race America Ethnic Solidarity Housing
Mamma Mia! CMC announces plans to convert Benson Hall into affinity dorm for “Spicy Whites”
Affordable Housing, Strong Flock
There is no such thing as overadmitting students. Unrelated, hundreds of students on financial aid are to live in abandoned, haunted Claremont School of Theology and tend to the land.
Joshua Tree.
Van life!
Mudd Gains A New Corporate Sponsor
Mudd Reslife is replaced Room Draw with Beast Games!
Scripps
In response to their overwhelming numbers, GJW has been reserved for the legion of Scripps (’29) students set to live with their CMC Senior Boyfriend.
Pomona
Air conditioning in Pomona dorms tentatively set for the heat death of the universe in 5.5 billion years
Queer Housing Canceled For Outhouse With Carved Half Moon On Squeaky Wooden Door
Only People Who Speak Oldenborg May Get Rooms
CMC Man gets coke room all to himself.
Pitzer Deflects Backlash, Renames Reslife to Rezlife
