Huh. That’s weird. This guy I had in one of my group projects, like, two months ago just added me on LinkedIn. But I couldn’t help but notice that the Experiences tab is completely empty… This can’t be right.
No, it has to be true – they updated their Linkedin a week ago. They have everything – why would they put their high school GPA in there? Their SAT score too? Aren’t they, like, twenty? Oh wow, and they were on their varsity sports team in high school. They must have had this profile for a while… but they haven’t had a job yet?
Ever since the 5Cs replaced their Career Services offices with chatbot AIs, it must be hard to find a job. But like, really? Three different volunteer positions, and yet that experiences tab is looking awfully empty… not looking good, mama. What are they trying to network with? Their B+ in microeconomics?
I mean, I get it. It’s probably really hard to keep a summer job when you take a week off during your training to be destitute in Ibiza. But nothing? That’s rough… and who do I find in their connections? Both parents. So just what are you expecting out of this participation trophy of a LinkedIn profile (I know the answer is six figures)?
Well. I guess there’s nothing I can do but accept the request. Either way, I have to go to class tomorrow and look them in the eyes. Zero job experience. 14-inch Macbook Pro. Vivienne Westwood necklace. Plus, the electric scooter to top it all off. Where are they making these people – Washington DC? Can I please get a fucking break?
Anyways, if I delete MY job experience, will it be easier to marry rich?