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2022 Spring
  • Due to Housing Shortage, Scripps College Ritually Executes Students, Houses Them in Holes in Ground

    Due to Housing Shortage, Scripps College Ritually Executes Students, Houses Them in Holes in Ground

    Eleanor Henderson
    May 1, 2022
    2022 Spring
    execute, holes, housing, housing shortage, scripps, shortage
  • Following Discovery of Oil Reserves, Grove House Closes to Make Way for Fracking Operation

    Following Discovery of Oil Reserves, Grove House Closes to Make Way for Fracking Operation

    Lily Wellington
    April 29, 2022
    2022 Spring
  • BREAKING: Pitzer Mailroom Ladies Holding Three Hostages, Won’t Release Them Because Authorities “Didn’t Receive an Email”

    BREAKING: Pitzer Mailroom Ladies Holding Three Hostages, Won’t Release Them Because Authorities “Didn’t Receive an Email”

    Emilio LoewMuscarolas
    April 26, 2022
    2022 Spring
    email, hostages, mailroom, pitzer
  • Hey! I Noticed That You Saw My Insta Story Saying I Have COVID And You Didn’t Swipe Up. Do You Hate Me?

    Hey! I Noticed That You Saw My Insta Story Saying I Have COVID And You Didn’t Swipe Up. Do You Hate Me?

    Eamon Morris
    April 25, 2022
    2022 Spring
    covid, lifestyle
  • The Student Life Patent

    The Student Life Patent

    The Golden Antlers
    April 22, 2022
    2022 Spring
    actual journalism, april fools, jesting, playful rivalry between pals, the student life, tsl
  • Jesus Finally Comes

    Jesus Finally Comes

    Lucas Cunningham
    April 17, 2022
    2022 Spring
    easter, Events, jesus
  • Mudd Union of Non-Conventional Healthy Relationships says “Masks on, all else off!”

    Mudd Union of Non-Conventional Healthy Relationships says “Masks on, all else off!”

    Ella Lehavi
    April 14, 2022
    2022 Spring
    Events, harvey mudd, harvey mudd college
  • Pitzer Postpones Witch Burning Ritual Due to COVID Concerns

    Pitzer Postpones Witch Burning Ritual Due to COVID Concerns

    Ben Smith
    April 11, 2022
    2022 Spring
    covid, Student, Witch burning
  • CMC Admits Lifting Mask Mandate Was Premature, So We Organized a Webinar on How to Last Longer

    CMC Admits Lifting Mask Mandate Was Premature, So We Organized a Webinar on How to Last Longer

    Lily Wellington
    April 9, 2022
    2022 Spring
    covid, cums, relationship, sexual frustration, tutorial, webinar
  • Ooga Booga! To Celebrate Women’s History Month Finally Ending, Men Revert Caveman-style Catcalling

    Ooga Booga! To Celebrate Women’s History Month Finally Ending, Men Revert Caveman-style Catcalling

    Addy Ball
    April 8, 2022
    2022 Spring
    Addy B, catcalling, cave man, ooga booga, women's history month
  • Pomona Students Grossly Misinterpret Gabi Starr’s Plea to Stay Positive Amid Rising COVID Cases

    Pomona Students Grossly Misinterpret Gabi Starr’s Plea to Stay Positive Amid Rising COVID Cases

    Daniel H.
    April 7, 2022
    2022 Spring
    covid, gabi starr, infection, optimism, pomona
  • Scandal! A Capella Group Caught with Tiny Little Instruments Inside of Their Mouths

    Scandal! A Capella Group Caught with Tiny Little Instruments Inside of Their Mouths

    Tali Maximon
    April 2, 2022
    2022 Spring
    a capella, instruments, scamfest, scandal
  • Oscars Go to Pay-Per-View

    Oscars Go to Pay-Per-View

    The Golden Antlers
    March 27, 2022
    2022 Spring
    alopecia, alopecia awareness, chris rock, gi jane, the slap, victorius
  • 2022 Worm Week Headlines #2

    2022 Worm Week Headlines #2

    The Golden Antlers
    March 24, 2022
    2022 Spring
    lung problems, penis, vaping, Worm, Worm Week
  • Op-Ed: I Think My Roommate Is Secretly a Worm, His Bed Is Filled with Dirt

    Op-Ed: I Think My Roommate Is Secretly a Worm, His Bed Is Filled with Dirt

    Jake D.
    March 23, 2022
    2022 Spring
    Dirt, opinion, Roommate, Worm, Worm Week
  • Worm Crush Wednesday

    Worm Crush Wednesday

    The Golden Antlers
    March 23, 2022
    2022 Spring
    crush, just wormy things, limerence, love, lust, raw sexual attraction, rawr, relationship, Worm, Worm Week
  • So… A Lot of You Have Been Wondering What Worm Week Is

    So… A Lot of You Have Been Wondering What Worm Week Is

    The Golden Antlers
    March 22, 2022
    2022 Spring
    happy times, pls explain worm week, slimes, slimy, what da fuck is worm week, Worm, Worm Week
  • 2022 Worm Week Headlines #1

    2022 Worm Week Headlines #1

    The Golden Antlers
    March 21, 2022
    2022 Spring
    phallic symbolism, snip snip, Worm, Worm Week
  • CROSS-CAMPUS DINING IS BACK!

    CROSS-CAMPUS DINING IS BACK!

    The Golden Antlers
    February 25, 2022
    2022 Spring
    5c, 5c dining, covid, Dining hall
  • After Studying Hard, Mudder Passes Turing Test

    After Studying Hard, Mudder Passes Turing Test

    Eleanor Henderson
    February 23, 2022
    2022 Spring
    harvey mudd, harvey mudd college, Local, Student
  • Claremont College Presidents to Say “Fuck It” and Replace the Rest of the Semester with an NFT

    Claremont College Presidents to Say “Fuck It” and Replace the Rest of the Semester with an NFT

    Eamon Morris
    February 21, 2022
    2022 Spring
  • Recap: Spring ’22 Parents Weekend

    Recap: Spring ’22 Parents Weekend

    The Golden Antlers
    February 19, 2022
    2022 Spring
    chodosh, dad, daddy, parenting, parents weekend, pregnancy, safe sex
  • The Wedding Party Gown Was So Tacky This Year!

    The Wedding Party Gown Was So Tacky This Year!

    Jeffrey Pendo
    February 13, 2022
    2022 Spring
    cmc, Events, Party, wedding, wedding party
  • CMC Trustee Finances Regime Changes in Central America to Impress Scripps Mistress

    CMC Trustee Finances Regime Changes in Central America to Impress Scripps Mistress

    Mahmood A.
    February 9, 2022
    2022 Spring
    cmc, finance, mistress, regime change, scripps, scripps mistress
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