Dear intersectional feminists,
The Motley is more profitable than ever! We should have shut it down and fired everyone decades ago! Please stop spreading vicious rumors that it took in $40,045.87. That is a LIE.
The Motley did NOT have 6,510 profitable orders this semester after being open for like, three weeks.
And if they did? I, President Amy Marcus-Newhall 3.0, will quintuple those numbers. Administration is now creating the Motley 2.0, which my assistant will operate out of my office with my Keurig K-Supreme Single Serve Cup Pod Coffeemaker. We have turned a profit with $8 in investments.
How much bxrista did we fire?? 51? We just saved Scripps College 5100%. You are welcome!!!
Also, I must address some of the lies you might have heard about The Motley’s revenue since its first recorded transaction this semester on September 7. I will be using the circulating images
Lie #1
When you see a positive number it actually means negative. Ok now double that negative number, make it positive, and actually add a zero (at the end, not beginning!) and that is how much money the Motley has made since I closed it.
Lie #2 – $7,189.30 in Credit Card Revenue
This is obviously false. These numbers are totally unrealistic because everyone pays in flex dollars who doesn’t know that?!!!!
Lie #3 – $30,565.83 in Flex (Board Plus).
Has anybody even seen a number that low? I make more than that ($52,498) in a month! If that rate continued I earn more than Motley does in 12 months by a lot. I earn $635,379 – I could pay Motley to be profitable!
Lie #4 – $255.62 in Cash.
the motley does not take cash. period.
Lie #5 – $1,798.21 in Claremont Cash.
This is unrealistic because I said so.
I am so sick of incompetent people who make things up. They talk for so long. But the Motley has NEVER been student-run and about leadership!!! They are always out of matcha. That is why I am running it now.