“For a long time we have been scratching our heads, it always felt like we were missing something,” said a member of the cross-campus 5C Archeology Christian-Fellowship, based at Harvey Mudd College. “It felt like we were edging toward a discovery.”
Recently, however, this “edging” was proved to be more than just a feeling. Early last week, while sifting through filthy dirty sex tunnels under Harvey Mudd’s Physics department, the archeologists made a shocking discovery. Originally attempting to study the origins of the “gooning” movement, they found crude drawings on the walls that made reference to a mysterious practice the archeologists are calling “the circle jerk.”
“The Circle Jerk seems to have been a bonding ritual of sorts for male warriors–” said the department lead before being cut off by her naturally smarter male coworker (recently hired), who added “ — yeah, just to expand your argument, The Circle Jerk seems to have been a bonding ritual of sorts for male warriors. That is something as a man, I think, we could use more of now that men act like women. Does anybody want to join in and try it with me?”
There are still many questions to be answered about The Circle Jerk. Harvey Mudd College will be in charge of its study. The wall painting will be removed and painted over, to retell a better history. The painting is to be placed in an “ethical” museum and taken care of, “in the same way Harvey Mudd himself treated all his ethical (not stolen) objects,” said the estate of former Native American art collector Harvey Mudd. “This will be just as ethical as the archive collections at Scripps, Pomona, Pitzer, and Claremont McKenna colleges.