Words by Lisa Gorelik, CM ’25
“Inquisition?! I don’t think you can use that word… ” quibbled my heretical, secretive friend after reading this guide. To them, “Inquisition” brings up connotations of slight overreactions and drab attire. To some extent, they’re right; “Inquisition” isn’t always a word that should be casually thrown around, especially by cowards with something to hide. But to me, the connotations are totally different.
Over the past few centuries, “Inquisition” has been used to oppress and degrade truthsayers, especially on how they dress. The word often connotes a snooping Inquisitor in drab attire and is meant as a putdown. It’s used to mock well-meaning factfinders and discredit their voices and opinions. I’m sure we’ve all seen these dehumanizing and objectifying portrayals.
So, how could I possibly have a positive perception and association with the word “Inquisition?” Well, over the past couple decades—with the return of sexy Popes (Jude Law) and free thinking—Inquisitions have been reclaimed and their 1100s stereotype rebelled against. People across Christendom are participating in the Inquisitive trend, taking back the word and making it into an empowering and uplifting term for us all.
Who is an Inquisitor? To me, an Inquisitor is in touch with their inner truth and makes others know it. An Inquisitor is someone comfortable in their habit, and isn’t afraid to express it. An Inquistor is someone who fights for inclusivity (except Protestants, Converts, Jews, Muslims, and other blasphemers) and actively fights against Negative Nellys (heretics, witches, flagellants, Scripps students). They are people who find power, confidence, and independence in not just how they present themselves, but also how they put down others. If that describes you, keep reading.
How do you start YOUR Inquisification? The most important style tip I can give is this: on all days of the week, prepare your interrogation questions and starch that robe! You never know when a false-believer might pass by, and first impressions are everything. Want to add some edge? It’s all about variation. Play around with different collars, change up that cassock, add a ring. An easy outfit that never misses? Black cloak and hood. You want to wear so much bling you can be seen from outer space – your body is a cathedral.
You’re almost ready to interrogate! But righteousness doesn’t stop at robes. Invest in equipment. Accessories aren’t made for comfort, they’re made for asserting your presence and style – so it’s time to bring out those cogwheels, shackles, and other bone crushing contraptions. And don’t forget to show off that rack. If you’re lucky enough to get your own chamber, spruce up the place with some papal bulls. I personally recommend Ad Extirpanda or Exigit Sinceras Devotionis Affectus.
The most important takeaway I want to convey in this article is that the way someone investigates, and how they look doing it, doesn’t define them: their religion does. We all have a duty to actively dismiss and redefine how we associate harmful stereotypes with the way someone purifies. Never let anyone tell you who you are, and don’t let untrue, baseless and degrading stereotypes stop you from doing what you want.