Co-writer: Jeremy Martin
We know. We know. It’s a hard thing to hear, but some of us have to be just okay. You attend a 5C, so you probably think that you are special, and you are not, and maybe you were in like, middle school, but now you are not special, you are pretty average, actually. It’s a bummer, but that’s the way it crumbles cookie-wise.
You have hobbies, and they’re perfectly fine – for you! Other people have more interesting hobbies, and they’re also probably a lot better at them. But that doesn’t mean your hobbies are worthless! They’re just less important than some of the really cool stuff other people are doing. Don’t take it personally! Unless maybe you want to, we don’t really care that much.
You’ve got a decent sized friend group, and they all think you’re fine. Some people like you, and other people don’t. You even get invited to some parties, and you go to them when you’re not feeling too tired! You feel pretty good about 5C party culture. It gets you just enough fun for your average level of social skill.
You have sex sometimes.
You’re alright academically. You know a medium amount about your subject of choice; your professors enjoy some of your contributions to class, and you will probably get a grade that reflects that. You’ll probably graduate, but it seems very unlikely that you will leave any tangible impact on these campuses. You’ll definitely come back for alumni weekend.
After graduation, you will get a decent job! Super decent, totally okay, really just like an average, regular sort of, run-of-the-mill, passable, tolerable, conventional, ordinary, adequate, unremarkable, pedestrian, “could-be-worse,” so-so, decent job. You’ll start a family of some sort and you will eventually retire and maybe you’ll write the book you’ve always wanted to write. Just kidding! You could never write a book.
Some of your peers are actually very exceptional. You know who they are, and they know who they are too – they’re just not you. Sometimes, one of them will dap you up, and when they’re super successful 20 years from now, you’ll tell people that the two of you were “friendly” in college. People won’t be impressed by this, but they won’t be unimpressed.
At some point, while reading this, you probably thought, “this article isn’t about me.” Just to clarify, it is about you and you alone. We’re sorry, but we’re not really that sorry. We actually don’t think about you all that often.