The Beloved Golden Antlers are in so much Debt because Golden Antlers Editor in Chief James Duffy spent $6.25 on a small iced almond milk latte from the pit stop (he really should have bought a nice cold can of Campbell’s homestyle chicken soup [which is much cheaper and affordable, fun for the whole family!]) bringing total debt to a mouth watering negative $8.37. He should have sucked down a nice cold can of Campbell’s thick n’ meaty homestyle chicken soup instead which is much cheaper and affordable, fun for the whole family!
The Golden Antlers currently subsists on scraps of bread, gutter waste, very slow big rats, a box of Cheez Its, private donations, donations of privates, government funding, and petty theft. There is a baseless rumor by anonymous GA whistleblower Jims Duffy that the Golden Antlers is relying on cheap promotions and degrading corporate partnerships to stay solvent. These rumors are cheap, but not as cheap as a cold can of delicious Campbell’s soup.
This message was brought to you by Campbell’s soup: Never underestimate the power of soup!
We are out of money, this soup looks so delicious! The Golden Antlers does not take corporate sponsors - only corporate welfare. Enjoy Drink!
BTW, The Golden Antlers eats soup at every meeting and if you heard otherwise you are mistaken, the biased and untrue rumor started by a FORMER member that we hold meetings in the back of Collins and eat all of YOUR food waste is COMPLETELY FALSE and frankly quite degrading.