Scenic Grind? This Friend Group is Planning Insanely Distracting Things To Do In Between Very, Very Small Intervals of Studying

Oh, fuck. We have 4,000 words to write, 3 midterms, a song to sing, a ditty to do, and probably some gosh darn thing to thang. Thankfully we have all day to study! And you know what that means: a passionate 2 hours of actual studying filled with distracting activities that we’ll call “breaks” so that we can all feel better about not doing what we’re supposed to do. Need some ideas for breaks? We’ve done the research, here are the best ways to make your studying scenic:

1. Flea Markets: There’s bound to be one somewhere around here. If we just walk around a bit we’ll find one and then we can not study AND spend money on clothes we don’t need.
2. Go on Your Phone: Just for a second, but then the second is actually two hours, but because you told yourself it would only be a second it doesn’t really feel like a break so it doesn’t count – you better get up and do something else to give yourself a real break.
3. Horrific Gossip: This also isn’t a real break because it wasn’t planned, but it’ll take up twice the time. This is a nice way to really get into the headspace of almost being productive, because you’ll definitely be pretending to do work while you listen but you’re actually just waiting for the next time you can agree and say something literally so heinous.
4. Lay on the Ground: Are you sooooo done with your work? Just lie down. Yep, right there.
5. Talk About the Political State of Our World: Booooring! But at least you can sound a little bit interesting even though you don’t really know what you’re talking about.
6. Complain About the Work You Aren’t Doing: You know, if we didn’t HAVE any work to do, then we wouldn’t have to do any work. I just don’t understand why this professor would even assign this, I mean what even is it, writing? I already know how to do that. It’s just not fair. This is gonna be graded so harshly, now let me explain in infinitely miniscule detail why I haven’t started this assignment and then we can all go around and do that.
7. Cry (I Guess): Yeah, no, we all knew it would come to this. No, just, just go. Yeah, it’s fine, we’re all doing it.
8. Listen to Study Music! Well, you told yourself it was study music. It’s actually just really sad music because you are sad because you have too much work to do and also you’ve just had a lot on your mind and uh oh! Every bad thing that has ever happened ever is now culminating in this one moment but you still refuse to start your work so you might as well just wallow in this hollow, empty feeling.