Have you been in the new CMC building? I have because I am better than you! And guess what, I’ve fucked there too! Ha! The shiny new building that looks like a Jenga tower 15 minutes into the game must be christened with bodily fluids other than tears.
Here are 7 scientifically-backed-to-be epic places to fuck in the Robert Day Sciences Center (the shiny new building that looks like a Jenga tower 15 minutes into the game)!
Behold, my thoroughly researched suggestions.
1. IKEA Orgy Stairs
WOAH! Sex furniture. So much of it. Loads! Buckets! Dumpsters! Sure, the stairs are made of concrete, but the cushioning is just exquisite! Bring your partner and your friends for a fun and ergonomic orgy on the stairs!
(Bonus: the room possesses amazing acoustic qualities that allow you to hear over and over again the great time you and your friends are having!!)
2. Intercourse Nooks
Are you seeking a more intimate experience? Do you prefer to fuck in dead silence? Look no further than the sound-proofed booths on the second floor! You won’t have to worry about disturbing the peace! You can have your knee-deep in the passenger seat moment or just fuck right on the table in these cute, coquette, and cozy study spots.
3. Rope Bunny Candelabrum
For those into bondage, shibari, or who were told by their roommate that they couldn’t bring their Saint Andrew’s cross because it “made them uncomfortable,” BYO rope and tie up your lover on the science-meets-art chandelier!
4. Consentevator
Going Up! (wink wink) The elevator is a timeless classic. It’s perfect for those who like to get places fast. CMC’s new elevator displays an innovative update by providing “YES” and “NO” buttons to make your consent extra clear!
5. Fume hood? More like freaky hood!
Get under the hood AND get under her (clitoral) hood! This spot is perfect if you’re craving the Cube’s novel fishbowl atmosphere but with better ventilation.
6. GOOOAAAALLLLL!!!!!!!
Are you into soccer? How into soccer? Do you like balls getting kicked? Does it make you horny? Perfect! Watch soccer as the haze of air pollution settles over the mountains, while getting head on just one of the many terraces. Bonus: nice breeze on your naked ass!
7. Butt Chair
This chair is butt shaped, ha!