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    Administration Releases New Hunting Guidelines for 2019 Prospie Season

     

     This morning at 8 AM, the Dean of Students office at Claremont McKenna College released the 2019 rules and guidelines for this upcoming Open Prospie Season. This weekend marks the annual Prospectostudentante migration, a weekend long period where more than 500 Prospectostudentantes will trek through the consortium, grazing upon the natural resources of the land […] More

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    CMC Reports Women are Overrepresented at Scripps College

     

     One of Southern California’s most prestigious political research institutions, the Rose Institute at Claremont McKenna College, recently released year-end research on diversity statistics in neighboring places of higher education. In the latest report, the Rose has taken particular interest in the neighboring community of Scripps College. This report, filled with 2 pages of cutting-edge political […] More

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    CMC Launches Annual Parasol Pop-Up Shop

     

     Record breaking heat waves this year have prompted CMCers to churn that entrepreneurial spirit of theirs into an exciting new capitalist venture: customizable parasols! While the other 4C’s may hurl churlish remarks about CMC’s pre-professional pretension, an overwhelming number of CMC students have come to the initiative’s defense. “My electric scooter already has a built […] More

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    CMC Pre-Professional Club Guide to Freshman Initiation

     

     Claremont McKenna College boasts an array of (supposedly) prestigious pre-professional clubs and research institutes that first-year students are encouraged to apply to, not because of their great impact on one’s resume, but because they do great work in their field. Despite CMC’s synergistic nature, a customizable, streamlined process for their initiation into this elite realm […] More

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    CMC Student Drops Class So He Can Go to Coachella

     

     Claremont, CA Tuesday morning, CMC sophomore Benjamin Whalerson dropped his computer science elective, because it had a midterm and homework due the Monday after Weekend One of the Coachella Music Festival in April. Whalerson, who lives in Appleby, loves memes, and prefers buying Natural Ice beer instead of Natural Light because “the higher alcohol content […] More

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    Freshman Presidential Candidate Vows To ‘Make CMC Great Again’

     

     The Golden Antlers brings you the following CMC freshman presidential campaign speech: “Hi, everyone. You know my name and I am running to be your Freshman Class President. I know you’ve just heard from my colleagues, and they all had interesting things to say. Give it up for them. Ok, that’s enough. Stop clapping. I […] More

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    CMC Basically Not Even A College Anymore, Forbes Claims

     

     Much to the horror of the Claremont community, Forbes Magazine released its eagerly awaited ranking of the top 650 colleges and universities in America. Upon finding Claremont McKenna College nowhere on the list, college officials decided it was time to”throw in the towel.” Dean of Students Mary Spellwoman spoke to GA reporters, “ever since 1946 […] More

  • Seriously, who? We'll beat 'em up with a book or something
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    CMC’s “See a Nip, Save a Nip” Breast Cancer Fundraising Initiative Cancelled After Nearly Bankrupting School

     

     October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month, and no one is more aware of breasts than the students of Claremont Men’s College. This year, CMC arranged a unique fundraiser, the proceeds of which went to Susan G. Komen For The Cure. Any time students accidentally saw a bro’s nipple, they reported it to the administration who […] More

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    Princeton Review Rates Claremont McKenna “#2” in “Best SAT Scandal”

     

     Early on Wednesday August 7th the Princeton Review released its annual College Ranking List results for upcoming high school seniors of the class of 2014 to pore over as they search for their future college or university.  While Claremont McKenna received high marks for “Happiest Students” (#1), “Best-Run Colleges” (#1), and “Their Students Love These […] More

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    CMC Announces New “Study Abroad Arizona State University” Option

     

     CLAREMONT, CA: This morning, CMC’s office of Off-Campus Study unveiled its plans for a new program beginning as early as Spring 2014: The Arizona State University Program. OCS was prompted to create this opportunity after the success of the Washington DC and SIllicon Valley programs. “Spending a semester studying somewhere else is a very enriching […] More

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    The Right to Bare Arms: CMC Announces Controversial Bro-Tank Ban

     

     Prompted by recent requests from the CMC Literature and Keck Science Chemistry departments, the student body received a notification via email that “tank-tops and other sleeveless cotton apparel” would no longer be advised for academic settings. When asked for further comment, Dean Spellwoman articulated, “the requests were made for a few reasons: tank-tops are too […] More

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