PALM BEACH, FL — In an unexpected press conference, Henry Kravis and George Roberts recently stated that they, “don’t see what’s so bad about Thanksgiving.” The duo, clad in matching turkey-print pajamas in the queen-sized bed they share at their Florida vacation home, were apparently taken with the “Thanksgiving Spirit,” and chose to “set […] More
We can’t be the only ones who have noticed. The endless bickering. The matching mottos. The constant dragging each other in prospective student tours. Cecil “coincidentally” getting way hotter the same year CMC moved to top 10 in liberal arts college rankings. For crissakes, the #1 most-worn clothing item on CMC campus literally actively encourages […] More
The 5Cs have unveiled their plans for the Spring 2021 semester due to mounting pressure from students and parents and the idea of losing any more money during the COVID-19 pandemic. Pitzer College plans to have students sleep out on the Mounds in hammocks spaced six feet apart so as to maintain social distancing. “Pitzer […] More
Once there was a tree. And she loved a little boy (which really should have been the first red flag). And every day the boy would come and he would gather her leaves. And make them into crowns and play king of the forest. He would climb up her trunk and swing from her branches […] More
Sidewalks? More like Tidewalks! Sure, it was cool when Jesus walked on water; but now you can too. After a series of failed sustainability commitments, Claremont McKenna College has finally decided to put its money where its feet are. After California’s record drought in the past decade, CMC’s administration has been forced to think long […] More
As the orange October sun began to set across the flat pale concrete of Claremont McKenna College, long early evening shadows and an eerie silence cloaked the muted campus. Beneath the autumn glow, Tristan Paul, CMC ‘21 arrived at his room in Green. Following a fruitful day of afternoon classes and 4 pm beer pong, […] More
Claremont, Calif.–This morning, President Hiram Chodosh called a Press Conference to announce an exciting development within ASCMC. Former Vice-President and current Presidential nominee Joe Biden’s son, Hunter, has officially accepted a role on ASCMC. Hunter has extensive experience performing roles he is vastly underqualified for and says that he is “excited to join the team […] More
CMC’s Writing Center recently expanded its services to include consultations and workshops for drafting Tinder bios and effective “U up?” messages. Since implementing this new service, the Writing Center has seen a 312% increase in student engagement. Mark Longo, CMC ‘21, came back to campus this year with a vengeance. After a long summer of […] More
Power and Privilege aren’t all you need to be successful at Claremont McKenna College– you also need our advice! Read on if you want to win! Microfridge is all you need. You shouldn’t have brought anything else because now your room is full. That being said, if your room is in North Quad, consider a […] More
Scripps College recently lost its spot on the U.S. News & World Report 2019 best colleges list after it misreported data. But Scripps isn’t the only Claremont College in trouble for attempting to improve their ranking score. CMC recently lost its’ spot on Niche’s college ranking for Top Party Schools after trying to bribe Niche […] More
Pirate Party is a sacred ceremony. A celebration of joy, established in 1348 when Claremont Men’s College was a mere infant of two years, Pirate Party holds eternal sanctity that we must all take full advantage of and bask in. Originally founded as a way to honor CMC’s primary funder and the original flex daddy […] More
Enter your account data and we will send you a link to reset your password.